02-17-25
“Uncertainty always creates doubt, and doubt creates fear.”
~ Oscar Munoz
It is beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human race has reached a historic moment in time. Very quickly, many of the ideas that we have trusted as constants or even taken for granted have suddenly been called into question. Confusion has replaced stability and solid, time-honored institutions. The same values that we have trusted as reliable and dependable have been shaken. This sense of uncertainty naturally creates doubt, and the unknown leads to fear.
As we experience that which we have come to count on as stable beginning to crumble, it is natural for us to become afraid. When we become overwhelmed by the sense that our well-being is eroding, we don’t know where to turn or what or whom to trust. Although this is a normal response, we must be very careful not to allow the transference of distrust to be assigned to all others.
Especially in uncertain times, we must remind ourselves that many, if not most, of the people around us and those that we come into contact with are also confused and afraid. As institutional trust erodes, and the transference of this erosion is assigned to other people we come across in our daily lives. We sometimes view others we encounter suspiciously.
I noticed during the pandemic that the wearing of masks created the illusion of anonymity. The fear of contracting a serious form of COVID from another person caused people to avoid one another. People became less friendly, and interactions were often curt, impolite, and even unkind. The exchange of pleasantries and greetings that were previously commonplace seemed to all but fade away.
Where we currently find ourselves as a society has been turned upside down in very short order. As we begin to lose our footing and no longer have the trusted handholds to grab onto, we must not fall prey to the idea that distancing ourselves from the people around us is the answer. It is precisely in times like these that we need each other. We must not allow fear to separate us.
“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small
ones surround us every day.”
~Sally Koch
Consciously reminding ourselves that other people might be afraid, concerned, or otherwise negatively affected by the events that are unfolding can shift our attitudes and behaviors toward them.
Years ago while working as a public school educator, bullying was in the forefront as a major concern. Having begun my career as a school counselor, I found that teaching prosocial behavior was more effective than developing anti (you name it) programs. I developed my own program and began the sessions by asking, “Where does kindness start?” The response was that the students would answer back, “Kindness starts with me. Today I will be kind.” This would be followed by some sort of lesson with stories, ideas, and examples that I was able to collect from staff and students in the building. It was a lot of fun and even effective.
On one Saturday morning, my wife Amanda (who was also a teacher) and I were in a local coffee shop when a young student from my school walked in with her mother. I said hello, and she ran over and gave me a hug and said, “Mommy. This is my kindness teacher”. It warms my heart even now as I write about it. The idea was to promote the idea that kindness is indeed contagious. The more kindness we give, the more it comes back to us.
How easy is it to slow down just a little bit…..to let someone go first? To take a shopping cart back to the cart corral with yours? To hold the door for someone? To look a person directly in the eyes and greet them with a hearty good morning? It’s not difficult and it’s free. It’s simply a matter of remembering to slow down, breathe, and notice opportunities. They’re all around us……and so is beauty. Especially in the eyes of those you greet!
What we need right now is Kindness